Today was the first day into a journey that I'm seeking about. On Oct. 17. 2012 was my hand clinic appointment.. I waited to hear good news and that's what I earn..but I have a feeling of unsure.. My doctor said your left hand is mild but I said I want a better function so I can be able to move faster.. Doctor said we can make anything possible... When I heard the first word " Surgery"... My eyes got full with water.. I said no no you see to big scars no more now the opinion I had was a 6 months treatment of botox.. My mind is on a thinking mood.. Wondering did I make the right choice.. What's next? I am strong hoping for more successful journey's
A few weeks ago I made one step into one of my new goals.. If my left hand was not attach to my body.. I will forget to take it with me. I want to just have everything on a " normal" function. Thinking every minute did I make the right choice.. or wrong choice because I realize if the botox treatment is successful it will be done forever I get no good thinking on the choices I make but I put it all up to " God". Confused on everything.
December 3. 2012
Doctor.. You was looking though me.. You knew I needed to tell you so much.. most of my goals was answered.. She said I'm getting you a new seating for your wheelchair and will remove some parts.. so does that mean I am better.. Talked about tendon release with eyes looking left and right.. With no official answers. I wanted to scream doctor I want to learn how to use a walker. I am determine to walk them five steps and more. Join me with my walking.... I am thinking would this ever happen.
Giving up is what I thought of never dream of..I ride many different boats until they are over and begin a new journey.. Some of them I think of the past and not the future even now I dream of being able to walk with a walker just to be able to walk with a walker and see it with my eyes will be amazing, surgery on my knees and botox treatment for my hands, I hear about these things in my heart but no action.. Its time to close these thoughts but dont allow them to leave me forever they are my motivation.. and my limits are my inspiration when things get in the way of my journey. Giving up is what I thought of never dream of..